May 2011
4 posts
For a brief moment I thought I was being raptured… then I realized it was just gas…
Number 1 worst place to live next to during the rapture: Airports.
I made it.
I’m driving so slow the bug on my windshield got bored and flew off.
March 2011
6 posts
Life Lesson #378: Being nude = Good. Ironing clothes = Good. …Doing both together = Bad.
St. Valentine’s Day = Couples… St. Patrick’s Day = Singles… St. Patty knows what’s goin’ on.
Dear girls next to us, We promise it was us dragging on the floor that made that fart noise and not Alex. Sincerely,
Alex’s shoes
RT @JohnStamos: contrary to the rumors, i am not replacing charlie sheen on two and half men. however, martin sheen has asked me to be …
January 2011
2 posts
I used to think I had super powers when I was younger and heard the static from a television turning on from the other side of the house.
Want something to do on a boring day? Walk around the city and argue with random meter maids… Even if it’s not your car being ticketed.
April 2010
3 posts
Maybe I’ll head over to the beach tonight and punch Snooki.
Today’s letter is “P”, for “Promotion”.
Happy Easter everyone! Today is the day the Easter Bunny was ressurected to obsolve us of our sins. *Praise be to Cadbury.*
March 2010
1 post
I want to stick my head out of the window and tell my neighbors to go back to the last song they were playing. It was my jam.
October 2009
2 posts
GTA IV: TBOGT… It’s goin’ on. Right now.
Saturday night. Hard Rock casino. $10 to gamble. Wish me luck.
September 2009
19 posts
Starving.. Anyone interested in grabbing some grub?
Zooey Deschanel is hot.
Zombieland had it’s moments. If you enjoy zombie killing, attempts at a teen-love or ‘zombie’ Bill Murray then you should see it.
Earliest I’ve been awake on a Sunday in a long time…
Anyone want to grab some P.F. Chang with me around 3?
I finally have a new phone. Nice.
I remember sitting in Ms. Kalajian’s 7th grade Science @ GMS when it happened. 9/11/01.
Succubus?!?! - I barely know her!
Time is passing too slow… If you’re in Miami, near the Falls, visit Banana Republic. Buy something.
Happy, OhNo/OhNo/OhNo!
I find the FSU - UM game amusing.
I watch the games for the cheerleaders.
Watching a movie so horrible I can’t help but keep my eyes on the T.V. - “Mega Shark vs. Giant Squid.” How was this not Oscar nominated?
Had a good night. Watched some interesting people. Reminisced about old times. Spent time with old friends. Good times. Good times.
Sitting next to a pretty cool girl @Rorden_Dancy, listening to drunk people sing.
Class then heading North.
Ahh, Vero… The city that always sleeps.
It’s like that time I watched Family Guy…
Sooo, anyone doing anything tonight?
August 2009
34 posts
THANK YOU so much everyone who texted or called or commented me “Happy Birthday” today! You’re all awesome! So many to thank! Thank you all!
I’m looking forward to the Seinfeld, “This isn’t a reunion, but the closest you’re gonna get” on Curb Your Enthusiasm next month.
21 haha!
It’s funny watching @danecook clean up his jokes for Oprah.
24 hours!
It’s been a long day.
Pineapple Express.
Cousin, business is a-boomin’.
This might be my masterpiece.
Ok, I’m up. Ready for class later. This should be fun.
Going to see a movie called Inglorious Basterds. Anyone heard of it?
Finally moving on. What a weight off my shoulders.
Thank god for friends.. Forget all this crap!